No one should be born a virgin.
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Author: Cravin Moorhead
Started: September 6, 2004, 9:34:18 am
Target: GOD!
Supporters:

34
Goal:

100,000
Goal Progress:

1% Complete
Status

Active
We believe that it is disgusting that some people should be born virgins! And we are here to petition god into making all of us non virgins. That is right all of us are non virgins from the start! Doesn't that sound awsome? I think so! So if you don't want to suffer the pain of alone when all your friends get girlfriends/boyfriends and you are all alone because you can't get with either then sign this petition so you can proudly show your face in public and be able to say... "I am not a virgin!" Yes that is right shout it out, after you sign this petition, your kids are saved the trouble of having to jack off in secret while you are in the other room doing the exact same thing. So put porn at rest, stop worrying about buying kleenex, and just sign this petition. I mean your hands must be absouluty shaking right now because you probably aren't jacking off listening to B2k or something like that watching your fat old nextdoor neighboor do areobics in the living room. Just sign this. I repeat sign this. And fatty old next door neighboor. You can't sue us becuase this is true. Sign this! If you want other reasons, think about high school. Then sign this you dickwads. SIGN THIS!!!




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Signatures
saria said 11/10/07, 9:35 am (verified)
I support this petition.
#34

sasha said 04/17/07, 8:03 pm (verified)
Huh.. well I have come across some pretty weird shit.. but this has to top them all. Being born non-virgins? holy shit you need help. Seriously.. and inuyashagurl.. f**k me.. You need help to, get on some meds and straighten the f**k out. Its people like you that hooker it up and become somebodys biatch.
#33

Ethel McDougal said 02/12/07, 1:26 am (verified)
I really support this because I am really really loud. Who would want to have sex with someone who blows your eardrums out, and the whole city knows his/her name? I also have this little problem where I black out and when I wake up there's dead bodies all around and Im holding a butchers knife... Who would want to be with me? (btw, if you wanna be with me add me on msn loud-and-proud@hotmail.co m and we'll chat ;) )
#32

inuyashagurl said 01/31/07, 11:11 am (verified)
i do support this. it hink it would make the world a less painful place if we were all non virgins. I had my virginity brutally riped away by my first boyfriend. I think if we were all none virgins then we could not feel like a total piece of trash when we do lose it...hey you have a really god idea..you think just like me ^_^
#31

wat da fuk said 03/28/06, 2:56 am (verified)
wat da fuk iz diz shit petition cz i tink iz ful of bulshit 2 b honest n i wish i waz a virgin bt i cudnt help myslef lol bt i lost it wid som1 worthwhile man
#30

* ohh so caliente * said 01/02/06, 8:15 pm (verified)
what the hell are you guys talking about...who takes the time to think about this maybe you shouldnt be so concerned about getting some and then ppl will actually wanna spend time withh you. if thats all your about then nobody's gonna wanna waste there time on you. get over it...stop worrying about it and then i garantee it will happen for you. and wtf are you talking about siging a petition to make you a non virgin when your born? thats impossible dipshit. get a life and maybe youll actually have some fun with life
#29

monkey man said 12/06/05, 11:18 am (verified)
yeah god make me an ugly fuck!! so i have to suffer the pain of not getting any.. take this petition u git!!!
#28

bored 2 death said 11/09/05, 3:18 am (verified)
You're crazy. You can't petition God and babies can't be born non-virgins. Learn what a non-virgin is and leave us all the hell alone.
#27

someone said 10/20/05, 3:44 am (verified)
this has got to be the gayest shit ive ever read in my whole life..wasted about 10 minutes of my life with this shit and u bastards cant get a goddamn piece so u write this gay ass fucking petition..holy ..im out yo goodluck
#26

Jesus said 09/22/05, 1:01 pm (verified)
SILENCE bitches. Jesus fucking Christ is going to go upside yo' head if you hoes dont stab yourselves in the chest. GOD COMMANDS YOU! I SAID FUCKING STAB YOURSELF!! *stab* Now Jesus can rest.Oh right and God says thou shalt not be born..er..thalt..virgins. What the fuck am I talking about, I dunno dude you sound pretty pissed, Your right bitch I am! Jesus is going to rock out to The Vandals now. May Peace be With you Assholes.
#25

Bubabanks said 08/31/05, 3:09 am (verified)
Al Bakri was Quran's story on how Muhammad the false prophet of the mythical moon god allah. When translating the Surah, verse regarding Al Bakri we read in the older text how allah was in fact a pig that Muhammad took rectal pleasure with. Is this uncommon in Islam? Get ready folks because the most famous Mullah of them all not only agrees with the above joke but also allows pedohilia. This is for real people. Please keep in mind that in real life Muhammad was a pedophile too. ISLAM -> The religion of choice for pedophilia and beastiality Ayatollah Khomeini: A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However he should not penetrate, sodomising the child is OK. If the man penetrates and damages the child then he should be responsible for her subsistence all her life. This girl, however does not count as one of his four permanent wives. The man will not be eligible to marry the girls sister. From Khomeini's book, "Tahrirolvasyleh", fourth volume, Darol Elm, Gom, Iran, 1990 Book Title Page/ Cover Inside Cover of Book Excerpt: Page [1] | Page [2] [Mohammad (founder of Islam) The Pedophile] A man can have sex with animals such as sheep?s, cows, camels and so on. However he should kill the animal after he has his orgasm. He should not sell the meat to the people in his own village, however selling the meat to the next door village should be fine. From Khomeini's book, "Tahrirolvasyleh", fourth volume, Darol Elm, Gom, Iran, 1990 ------------------------- ------------------------- ------------------------- - "If one commits the act of sodomy with a cow, a ewe, or a camel, their urine and their excrements become impure, and even their milk may no longer be consumed. The animal must then be killed and as quickly as possible and burned." The little green book, Sayings of Ayatollah Khomeini, Political, Phylosophica, Social and Religious wit
#24

Real Gangsta in da House said 07/18/05, 6:29 pm (verified)
Being a goth, I understand that life is nothing more than a miserable time of pain suffering and it will only end with the sweet release of death. Therefore, everyone who is born enters this horrible world where they are sure to die. Everyone who is born, is basically fucked. Since everyone is fucked, no one is a virgin.
#23

Evie said 06/21/05, 7:12 pm (verified)
this just doesn't make sense!?! How could you be a non-virgin when you are born?!?!? Being a non-virgin means you have had sex - baby's can't have sex?!?! It's just stupid!?!?! I'm so confused!?!?! ? ?
#22

Dave said 05/29/05, 5:53 am (verified)
Hey, if you had actually lost your virginity then you would have not made this petition...get laid and have a good think about how ridiculous this all sounds.
#21

Michael said 05/23/05, 11:15 am (verified)
If you were born inot michael Jackson's family, you could say you were already fucked... is that what you mean?
#20

brooke said 05/14/05, 8:38 pm (verified)
gghjhhhvgvgggfff
#19

the red dart said 01/27/05, 10:13 pm (verified)
wow, this world is screwed up. alright, you guys go and have sex all the time and ruin your lives, but i'm saving mine for my wife. she's going to love me because i'll be the only one left who hasn't had sex with some other person. oh, and you guys are retarded, the 'god' and 'satan' guys. and stop swearing, God will smite you.
#18

69 said 12/27/04, 9:15 pm (verified)
69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69 69
#17

Reveren Lovejoy said 11/14/04, 3:50 am (verified)
I was wondering, considering that you said when you reach the certain amount of petitions that you would send this to god... well how do you suppose your going to do that? well, when you figure that out, will you please call me at 1(705)336-8978 I would say God Bless, but it sounds like he already has.
#16

Death to smoochie said 11/14/04, 3:47 am (verified)
I am wondering how the fuck this can be possible, i don't believe that this can happen but i was just wondering how the fuck you are going to do this? I mean are you going to fuck all of us? If so my phone number is 696-9690
#15