My friend Matt loves the Internet and would like to be the first President of it. If I get enough signatures I will take this petition all the way to Bill Gates.

As President my friend Matt will preside over the entire world wide web to make sure it runs smoothly and that everyone has a good time on it.

Matt strongly believes that the Internet is in need of guidance and that he is the one to guide it, and to guide us in this new age of technological wonderment and splendor. He promises his style of leadership will be "a good one" and that he won't abuse his power even though he could probably read all your emails and tell everyone at your work that you log onto chat sites pretending to be a woman sometimes when you're not a woman at all but a man.

His long term goals include:

*That by the year 2016 no child will be deprived of broadband Internet connection.

*Put a stop to all SPAM, child-porn and emails featuring David Hassellhoff.

*That eventually we will be able to log on to the Internet using only our minds.

I will be his treasurer.

Please tell your friends and loved ones about Matt's campaign as we need to get approval from AT LEAST 51% of all Internet users if we are to claim that the people have spoken and elected their first President of the Internet.

Matt is also available to appear as a speaker at private functions for a small fee, or even if you just want to hang out he's cool with that too.

SIGN AWAY AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!!!!

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