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60 Supporters

Created by Brian Sack on March 9, 2006, 6:32 pm



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Dear Blue Marlin Clothing:

The ability to express oneself via clothing and/or bumper sticker is a very important right that the Founding Fathers may or may not have thought of. Regardless, it is our belief that Blue Marlin provides a valuable service by producing quality clothing, the wearing of which allows us to endorse various locales.

Unfortunately, it has come to our attention that the majority of the locales Blue Marlin offers us the chance to promote are terribly lame. To wit:

Cuba - Any country that rations soap and where buildings dissolve in rain... not so good.

Jamaica - *****s and pot, and everyone wants to braid your hair and sell you a sea shell they just picked up.

CCCP - The Soviet Union was not kitschy. For starters, white ice cream was called "vanilla" but had no flavoring because it was too expensive to import.

Mexico - There's a reason folks keep moving from there, and it's not because they're psyched about gardening.

Tokyo - Up to no good. Tricked us into eating raw fish before breaking out the bukkake and hentai madness.

England - Everyone who loves England already has a shirt. The rest think it's old and dirty. And Morrissey's always whining.

New York - Put a fork in it.

Ireland - Their unprecedented economic bounceback has shown that they're very functional drunks and don't need our love and admiration anymore. Done.

Brasil - No one wants to advertise a country associated with pre-op transsexuals and homeless children.

Roma - The Coliseum is impressive but the city is filthy and people ride mopeds into your crotch.

Sicily - Birthplace of the Mafia and overly-doughy pizza.

Berlin - After all these years, still Hitler's 'hood.

Zimbabwe - Robert Mugabe chased all the white farmers out of the country and gave the land to his cronies, sparking a famine and devastating one of the few decent economies in Africa. Let us not praise that through apparel.

After browsing though a rack of Blue Marlin clothing, it's obvious what the problem is: The Baltic and Scandinavian states are under-represented. Everyone loves Australia and New Zealand, can't go wrong there. Eastern Europe has great beer and hot chicks - why no hoodies? And let's not forget Taiwan, which will some day be a collector's item.

And frankly you're missing out by carrying no Canada clothing. They won't leave the house with fewer than seven maple leaves, lest they be confused for Americans.

We hope you will take this into consideration before your next round of embroidery or silk-screening - that we may then wear Blue Marlin clothing which advertises a country we're proud of. One which may be completely boring but at the very least is not associated with hookers or famine. Perhaps Latvia, Iceland or Croatia.

Guam even.

We hope you will consider our humble request.


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Petition Signatures


60 29 Mar 2007 - 8:52    Leon Fahrer : Yes.
59 11 Dec 2006 - 5:02    Caitlin Murphy : They made a Scotland sweatshirt once. It's time to bring that back.
58 11 Apr 2006 - 23:41    Jamie Hooper : I support this petition. whooooooooooo
57 8 Apr 2006 - 15:46    Robert Calderon : I support this petition.
56 8 Apr 2006 - 6:11    David : I support this petition. and would like to cast a vote for Norway to have a hoodie!
55 1 Apr 2006 - 15:32    Vlad de Impaluer : viva la Translyvania!
54 31 Mar 2006 - 6:48    SJ : What about Amsterdam? Is The Netherlands too long?
53 21 Mar 2006 - 3:40    ChaniSedai : If only you had a Luxembourg hoodie you would have my business.
52 20 Mar 2006 - 1:08    ange : I support this petition.
51 18 Mar 2006 - 22:40    orangeyfresh : This is THE life defining cause
50 18 Mar 2006 - 16:19    500cbfan : Whaddya mean Taiwan will be a collector's item? We'll kick China's everloving heiny if they mess with us. But yeah, a shirt that says "Taiwan NOT China" would be cool.
49 18 Mar 2006 - 5:06    nrk : Okay, not Rome. But how about Vatican City? If we can have Vatican City, I support this petition!
48 17 Mar 2006 - 4:29    Jimbo Milarky : I support this petition.
47 16 Mar 2006 - 18:39    Bart : I support this petition.
46 16 Mar 2006 - 0:39    LES : I support this petition because French people don't know how to say "bushing".
45 16 Mar 2006 - 0:15    SJW : I support this petition due in large part to an inoperable brain tumor. I believe this will help my problem.
44 14 Mar 2006 - 9:09    eggsngrits : Belgium! Beer, chocolate and great cooking without all of that fussy Frenchness or Teutonic need for dominance!!
43 14 Mar 2006 - 2:04    ej : What about Buenos Aires? Can't go wrong with Buenos Aires.
42 13 Mar 2006 - 13:58    pierre : how about france? everybody loves france, right?
41 13 Mar 2006 - 8:16    Robert : I support this petition because Hungarian girls are hot!
40 13 Mar 2006 - 7:48    c : I support this petition. Australia rocks.
39 13 Mar 2006 - 6:27    nooneuknow : OMG can U send me paris hilton's address book? thanx!!!!!!
38 12 Mar 2006 - 21:51    Matt S. : I support this petition.
37 12 Mar 2006 - 12:19    Amanda B. : I support this petition, because I have nothing else going on right now.
36 12 Mar 2006 - 7:09    sasafrass97 : Louisiana (even though it's a state and not a country)-b/c nobody does a natural disaster quite like us!!!!!-c'mon, give us our props!!!
35 11 Mar 2006 - 13:35    Andrew : The International Space Station - would that fit?
34 11 Mar 2006 - 10:52    Erica M. : Finally a cause worth fighting for :)
33 11 Mar 2006 - 10:49    RS : Andorra forever! Who doesn't love duty free?
32 11 Mar 2006 - 9:00    Sarah : I support this petition because I completely neglected to get a Taiwan shirt when I was there.
31 11 Mar 2006 - 7:35    Seamus : I support this petition.
30 11 Mar 2006 - 3:37    Jane : I support this petition.
29 11 Mar 2006 - 3:17    Sue : I support this petition because I need a cause that doesn't involve effort or travel.
28 11 Mar 2006 - 2:10    jnet : seriously, croatia ****in rocks. that's what it should say on the hoodie.
27 11 Mar 2006 - 1:45    Jenny Sampson : I support this petition.
26 11 Mar 2006 - 1:43    Bex : Costa Rica- The only country whose Constitution bans a military. And the beaches and rain forests are nice, too.
25 11 Mar 2006 - 0:49    Marcellas : I have the Cuba hoodie. That's so 3 years ago. How about Guadalc**** or Niagara Falls? Yosemite? Cairo? Egyptians do it best? Iceland? Narnia...
24 11 Mar 2006 - 0:42    Eric : I'd like to see a "Tuna Asserole" hoodie, thanks.
23 10 Mar 2006 - 23:36    Miss Guam : I support this petition because I need a good hoodie to go with my crown
22 10 Mar 2006 - 22:22    Melissa : I support this petition because Brian didnt insult Spain. Go Spain
21 10 Mar 2006 - 22:12    Heywood Jablowmie : say it with me now: Chee-Lay
20 10 Mar 2006 - 21:14    Stu : How about one with High Point, Furniture Capital of the World?
19 10 Mar 2006 - 20:28    Ryan : Just not Lesbos in Greece - not all it promises.
18 10 Mar 2006 - 20:08    ed b : I support this petition. I want Lithuania
17 10 Mar 2006 - 19:53    Kaspar : Why not Larisa (a thoroughly quiet place in Greece)?
16 10 Mar 2006 - 17:40    George-Michael Pescaru : Romania for the win.
15 10 Mar 2006 - 17:00    sgazzetti : I support this petition because I live in Slovenia, which is more non-lame than it sounds, Ali G. notwithstanding.
14 10 Mar 2006 - 10:22    Jack Conway : I support this petition because I'm easily manipulated.
13 10 Mar 2006 - 9:33    Famous J : Right on, brother man. Speaking truth to power!
12 10 Mar 2006 - 8:44    Graham Kaplan : I support this petition.
11 10 Mar 2006 - 8:38    Wiz : I support this petition. Antarctica would be cool