Many people don't know that fascism is still rampant in the world. I'm putting my foot down and have decided to put an end to all the horribleness that politicians and seedy corporations have conveniently turned their backs on. Make your voice loud and clear and show that you support the end of fascism! This requires no real contribution on your part - you don't even have to leave the house or take part in any "official" humanitarian efforts!

Did you know that fascist leaders will sometimes use torture to scare people? It's true! By not signing this petition to put an end to their regimes, you're basically dipping babies in acid. Would you cut the fingers off a homeless man just because he asks you for change? Then why are you still not against fascism? To be not against fascism means that you aren't not against it, and hopefully we all know how double negatives work.

If all you need to do is type your name into a petition to end fascism, then why not do it? By not signing, you're basically Hitler and your friends are all members of the Schutzstaffel, and I bet your dad has an uncanny resemblance to Mengele.

Show the world that you care enough about people being hurt by fascism. If you plan on signing this petition, please do so between 1:55 pm and 2:00 pm in New York, 18:55 for London, and 19:55 for Paris, Bruxelles, and Italy. 1:55pm in Ottawa, 10:55am on the Pacific Coast of North
America. This way it will coincide with Halt The Internet day, since a sudden rush of petitions through the Internet will jam the main circuits at various government Internet agencies. This'll teach them for selfishly squandering our tax money instead of letting us use it ourselves on purchases that matter, like the new Desperate Housewives DVD set that's so god damned expensive.

So please, let's put an end to fascism without putting an end to our free time. The next five minutes will decide how you spend the rest of your day talking about yourself.

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