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Created by Andrew Crosbie on 15 April 2005 @ 10:22:24 AM
 Ladies and gentlemen, I think that it's fair to say that we're ALL tired of London. Nothing in particular, just London in general. ****neys, Harrods, jellied eels...I could go on.
For you see, the reason London is an eyesore is because of the strain put upon it by hundreds of thousands of tourists every year. While I understand the obvious merits of tourism, I feel that London's hand is being forced by tourism, something which, as current capital of the UK, it shouldn't have to put up with.
So, my solution does NOT involve some kind of racialist banning of tourists. Oh no. What I propose is that we change the capital of the UK to PORTSMOUTH, on a temporary, 10-year basis. During this time, London will be able to shape itself to better deal with the demands of 2010. And 2011. And 2012. And 2013. And 2014. Maybe not 2015, but DEFINITELY 2016.
So, why Portsmouth? Why not? It's got FRATTON PARK, the home, nay, the NUCLEUS of football. Play up, Pompey!
Also, despite being voted one of Britain's most "crap" towns, I feel that the inevitable diverting of tourists to Portsmouth (as new capital of the UK) would bring a boost to the economy, making sure that Portsmouth becomes one of the best cities in the world, if it isn't already. Indeed, as I gaze at the "what's on" section of http://www.portsmouth.gov.uk/, I see that they've lured the "Stars in Their Eyes" winner to Portsmouth - surely a sign of a city going places? Also, the public toilets have been reopened in Fratton; having visited these myself, it's obvious that they would draw tourism, if only Pompey were to have a gimmick - CAPITAL CITY OF THE UK.
So, what have we learned? We've learned that London is rubbish due to the strain put on it by tourism. We've also learned that diverting tourism to Pompey would be great for everyone. And finally, we've learned that Pompey F.C. are far superior to the Scummers (Southampton FC).
Who's with me?
p.s. The attached picture is of someone whom I believe is the global ambassador for the reopened public toilets in Fratton, Fraser Mutchett.
| 35 |
Joe Cottin |
Pompey is the best. F Southampton. |
| 34 |
Bartley Gorman |
This is a great idea - I could at last live amongst my people as King of
the Gypsies. |
| 33 |
Corp Ho |
We have a higher average population over the last 100 years than da
scummers.Therefore i should be made into president of the world as i sell
candy floss door knockers to the homeless.Play Up Parpey. |
| 32 |
Steve Grant |
Play up pompey! |
| 31 |
LOL |
LOL i havent laughed that much since i saw the design for the new
stadium!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahaha! |
| 30 |
Chris |
A-Hahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hhahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh oh oh hahahahahahahahahahahahah
aha!!!!!!Thanks, I haven't laughed that much since, well,
ever!Hahahahahahaha!Portsmouth are a crappy little town, and will always be
so.SOUTHAMPTON FOREVER! |
| 29 |
Dave |
lol, this is almost as far fetched as your new football stadium. |
| 28 |
Holly + Leona |
what a great idea!! Come on Portsmouth!! they will all come - especially
with european football heading to fratton park next season! |
| 27 |
Stavros |
Not a bloody bad idea, and I'm a proud Scot. But I lived near
Pompey for 14 years, and I loved it. My second home. And my second team
after the mighty Celtic. Although I'm also a diehard admirer of
Liverpool.Also by being the UK capital it would give Glasgow and Edinburgh
a chance to do their own brilliant things too. Portsmouth is a fantastic
city, a warm and friendly place and I still miss it every day, even though
Scotland is the best wee country in the world!!!!
Play up Pompey!1 And c'mon the Hoops too!!!
Cheers mush ! |
| 26 |
matt |
because pompey rule!
I'm portsmouth till
I die
I,m portsmouth till I die
I know I am, im sure I am
Im portsmouth till I die
|
| 25 |
Ezmo |
May i say young chap thatlast message was just Ludacris, Krap
Nottarf...still havent figured it out yet |
| 24 |
The Duke of Wellington |
Dude proper true, i so think ure going in the right direction. One thing
this country has been deprivced of for so long is a good old laugh. And if
there is a total of 14,000 people that sign this petition then we will have
achieved this goal. I mean come on could u imagine all the differenet
tourists from different corners of the earth encountering the breathtaking
sites, i dont really know where to start. I suppose there is the Southsea
funfair oramusement park or whatever its called, the amazing view from
the.... almost working lifts in the spinacar tower, and dont forget the
unbelivable natural habuitat of Fratton Park where u can witness the only
football staduim in the Premeiership which the groundsmen can proudly say
they grow weeds in the away stands (for decorative purposes, obviously). Of
course Portsmouth is not simply about tourism, you can also purchase
property there, u will be stunned by some of the most upper class caravans
u have ever seen in ure life ( some of them even include toilets). Of
course for Portsmouth to be a capital we also have to consider the
political side and how to locate the new (temporary) house of parliment. Of
course if we alter the appearcence of Portsmouth military base im sure we
could cram a few lords in there. Now lets consider the UK economy if we
change the capital to Portsmouth... well i suppose the exporting and
imoorting of fish products would increase heavily. The main advantage of
relocating the capital to Portsmouth would of course be .. the national
football stadium, Fratton Park. I mean come on who needs the spectacle of
Wembly or the share size of Old Trafford or the unbelievable atmosphere of
Anfeild when u have Fratton Park. Krap Nottarf,huh? Figure that one out for
ureselfs. In conclusion to my reaon for signing this petition it is clearly
possible to see that the relocation of the counbtries capital London to
that of the discrace of a city called Portsmouth would give the country a
great boost of emphusiasm, |
| 23 |
Mr Portsmouth FC |
Staying up, Staying up,the pompey;s st.... oh **** no where not.
ill just ding my bell |
| 22 |
g |
at last, someone with sense! we all know portsmouth is by far the greatest
city in the world. surrounded in so much history and at the same time
modern.so many sites to see, unlike those thick, gypo, backstabbing, inbred
tossers up the road. i invite you to take a brief read at what a couple of
members of the scummer family's comments. to start off with,number
21 can't even spell his own name. then you have the offspring of
einstein "sainttillidie". i'm not going to waste
time or space pointing out this clever little fellows spelling
disabilities, just take a look for yourselves. the end of the story is the
south of england is by far cleaner than up north and portsmouth has more
crudentials of being a capital than any other place down south. play up
pompey! |
| 21 |
micheal |
i think portsmouth is rubbish southampton should be capital |
| 20 |
Matt & Chris |
Not a ****ing Chance ****ing Pompey!!
IT SHOULD BE SOUTHAMPTON!!! |
| 19 |
Saints 4 EVER |
If I had the wings of a sparrow and If I had the arse of a crow,
I'd fly over Portsmouth tomorow, and sh1t on the *******s below.
ONLY ONE TEAM IN HAMPSHIRE - SOUTHAMPTON
**** OFF POMPEY, POMPEY **** OFF. |
| 18 |
Owen |
I support this petition assuming that we are talking about Portsmouth, New
Hampshire of USA |
| 17 |
Princess Laura |
Hahaha so you're proud to call yourself a
'mush'...how pleasant! You said you'd rather be a
saints fan but look at the tables!!
Portsmouth rocks! |
| 16 |
sainttillidie |
hello u *******. wot the hell is this crap. i am ur everyday southamtpon
mush and i hav a season ticket @ st marys~ we r not scummers u r sk8s. You
arsehole. Soory about my mannerisims 1 of my best m8s comes from pompey
but~ oh yeh she cues all the way down 2 southampton everyday 2 go 2 skl coz
all the 1s up der are crap!!!
I love the idea of having a new capital but wot about newcastle and the
other places.
just look @ fratton park. its not a park its a bloody waste disposal
ground...
i would like 2 finish with 1 of my fave chants from the footy
when i was just a little lad,
I asked my mother what shall i be?
Shall i be pompey?
Shall I be Saints?
Heres what she said to me...
Wash yopur mouth out son,
And get your fathers gun,
Leave the pompey scum,
AND SUPPORT THE SAINTS!!!!!
The saints r marchin in 4eva!!!
Up the boys in red and white!!! |
| 15 |
Mr Gray |
pooooooortsmooouuuuuuth! |
| 14 |
Dave |
yes yes yes! |
| 13 |
Andrew |
Bob and Jake, sirs, there are many varied reasons why Portsmouth is
infinitely superior to both Bolton and Rushden+Diamonds.
Firstly, Portsmouth is a port (suprisingly), therefore is the
"mouth" (see what I did there?) to Europe. For those entering
Britain, we believe that they should see the best of Britain as soon as
posible to create a good first impression. If Portsmouth were to become UK
capital, it is natural to assume that it would become the best city in
Britain. London is simply too inconveient, as is Bolton.
As for R+D, its name is ridiculous. The "Diamonds" part sounds a
bit too tacky. Besides, why Rushden AND Diamonds? Can they not make their
minds up? We aim to establish an itegrated yet independent capital for the
UK - when R+D splits (and we pray to god that it will in time), it may be
considered, although this is highly unlikely.
Jake: yes, SMC is indeed in Scotland. However, Portsmouth is more than
just a place in England. It is a state of mind - a religion, if you will.
If one believes in Portsmouth, then one IS Portsmouth - hopeful, radiant
and far superior to Southampton.
Portsmouth be with you. |
| 12 |
bob |
why the **** portsmouth why not bolton or rushden and diamonds |
| 11 |
Jake |
Good petetion, however, SMC is in Scotland so why portsmouth?? |
| 10 |
Andrew |
Folks, Phase 2 is in operation. Vote for the Pompey Party in the SMC Mock
Elections '05, and Portsmouth will become UK capital before you know
it. |
| 9 |
Shawn Smith |
Yeah! Or.. something. Hi Holly. |
| 8 |
Holly |
Word dude. Word. |
| 7 |
Zoe |
DAMN THE MAN!!! Save the empire!!! |
| 6 |
Wig |
Even if they still won't bring Knightmare to DVD, I believe that this
petition may just work! |
| 5 |
Woooo |
Well, it seems Mr Crosbie that you have more issues with London than a
newspaper. However I strongly agree with your view that Portsmouth should
become the capital of the U.K while London gets its act together. I
therefore would like to state that you rock! |
| 4 |
Testing |
testing |
| 3 |
Stokers |
EEEEEAAAAAYYYYYAAAAA |
| 2 |
Josh Stokes |
Who is this 'Andrew Crosbie' ....I fink he is a genius.
Pooooortsmuff would be an excellent capital...better than London thats for
sure. Anyway i better go - ive gotta go and play footbawl. |
| 1 |
ross logan |
i love that guy in the picture!!!!!!!!!! |
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