This petition's goal is to have Star Jones prevented from appearing in public. This will alleviate people from running around with harpoons and yelling "Thar she blows!!" And others covering their ears screaming in abject agony when she opens her mouth and bellows forth that wretched screeching noise she calls a voice.

Please sign this petition and conceal Star Jones from the public. You will be contributing to doing everyone a great service.

By the way the guy in the photo is wondering what caused his shrinkage, the cold water or the thought of having to service Star Jones.

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