AGAINST GAY MARRIAGES
I fully support the sanctity of one-man/one-woman marriages. It's the way that Jesus and George Washington wanted it to be. For example - Britney Spears and that yokel friend of hers getting married while drunk at a drive-through chapel in Vegas? That's a holy and pure part of the celestial plan of God and the Risen Jesus. Now two filthy sodomite homosexuals who have been together for twenty years and want to commit themselves to each other and no other person? Well that's just perversion, Satanism, and leading children down the path to secular humanism and pedophilia.
God said it, the Bible told me, and that's all I need to know... NASCAR!