Hilary Duff couldn't rock if you jammed all of AC/DC up her ass...

Dear Blake Smith, I don't slap the dicks out of your mouth while *you're* working, so why don't you just fuck right off and let *me* work in peace. Mmkay? love, Dan

But dear little Snowy, I *am* doing what I do , which is pointing out what a delusional crackwhore you are. "Snowy, meet reality. Reality, meet Snowy." "I don't know you at all," said Snowy. "That's okay," said reality, "you're clearly batshit insane and I want nothing to do with you." "Oh, by the bye," chirped Snowy, "do you know J.K. Rowling? I wanted to talk to her." "Yes, yes I do," replied reality, "and she told me to kick you in the cunt." And reality reared back his leg and did just that, burying his boot between Snowy's legs like he was kicking the extra point to win the Super Bowl (which was ironic, since reality is British and thinks that American football is the embarrassing stepchild of Rugby and is played by whiny nancy-boys who shoot their girlfriends and hide in car trunks, but still need body armor.) And with reality's boot lodged snugly in her pelvis...

I've actually met him, and I fucked him in the ass. Can I talk about him now? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that he really *is* gay, what with all the butts and the fucking and such. Oh, by the way Katie, you're a dumb slut.

But what about the whores? No lounge is complete without evening gown wearing, martini sipping, randy-and-ready-to-go WHORES! Seriously. A CS major has needs, baby.

Alyson Stoner raps like a chipmunk that's been smoking crack. Her voice makes my dog run around the room and poop in circles, so my mom made me throw away her CD.

You're a dumb slut, Jessi. Shut your face and get off the internet. And I'm rarely "skurd" of someone who types in ebonics, so you should probably just go jump up your own ass and die, 'kay?

"The Day Hermione Granger Let Me Put My Weiner in her Butt" I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me.

As long as I'm here supporting this petition, can somebody *finally* tell me what the #*&$ "up the irons " means? I think it has something to do with Maiden's football team, but in the 10 years I've been listening to them I've never gotten a straight answer.