whether i call you jeff, chef, chris, or jarman, you are amazing. i remember the time you made egg sandwiches for me and my son scott and i knew at that time you were a special man. millions of people would convert to mormonism if you go on the bachelor. your life is such a prime example of how a mormon boy should live. keep it wrinkled and be sure to call back the casting director who tried to pimp you while you were in line at that club. love always, marry